I am presently in re-assessment mode and busy with finding my grounding, caught among the moving sands of our yoga communities state of affairs and our teachers challenged credibility (put at stake by recent revelations and questionable standard moves and acknowledgements.)
I am taking time off from proactively engaging in and maintaining a teaching schedule as I did for many years in both my shalas and while travelling. I am currently only accepting without much fanfare and in a gift economy model what comes my way in the shape of invitations by those who know my teaching approach. This feels truer to myself and an honest enough strategy to stay aligned with my standard of integrity towards the teaching.
The uncertainty of the last couple of years – both within the Ashtanga yoga community and the changes in my personal life circumstances – have deeply challenged my relationship with and the content of my teaching – not with a practice that in spite of all I still consider sacred.
Surrender – which when full and placed in the right hands is nectar, and whose benefits I badly miss – versus the call to be self reliant and find all answers within oneself in what many now start calling post-authoritarian guru-student relationship…..this is the equation I am presently reflecting on.
I am not in a hurry to find answers, trying to feel comfortable without a center and allowing myself the time to let the answers emerge in their own time, still using the practice as main navigator.
I am not throwing in the towel. Just taking some time off for reflection. I believe we all need some if we want to remain brothers and sisters on this path that has taken us together.